I had a random drug test for my company today. Of course, I have a funny, silly take on it, though, it needs to be done and I am in no way questioning that. You

You need to understand, first, no comedy while there! Be businesslike and stand up straight! I don't know if this is true, but I would not be surprised if the staff at the testing center is watching to see how you act. Allow me to tell a funny story that is only vaguely related. An eighty-four year old woman goes to a physician for the first time in her life. He finds she is in great health, but wants to run some tests. The only problem with this is the woman is from rural Maine and does not understand the physicians' jargon.
"Will you evacuate in a cup?"
"Wha"
"Will you void in a jar, please?"
"Eh?"
Finally the doctor gets pissed no pun intended. "Lady, go piss in a pot!"
She is outraged. "Mister, go s**t in your hat!" hits him with her pocketbook and storms off.
The filling out the paperwork and the wait take longer than the process. Then you go into the lab and empty your pockets. You are then sent to the bathroom to void, I mean pee in a cup. Luckily, I had been drinking a lot of water before the test. The instructions ordered me NOT to FLUSH the toilet. This goes against every bit of childhood toilet training, Mom punishing you and leaving the toilet seat up to have females of all ages hating you. I followed the instructions and they test your product right there. So I know I passed, but the important moral of today's story? I learned to follow instruction! :)